Poor emotional control can affect your relationship in many different ways.This is because without emotional balance it is difficult to have a harmonious relationship.Related problems would include physical and verbal abuse.
If you are in a relationship with a man with poor emotional control,you are in for a rough ride.This is because a man with poor emotional control can very easily become violent.One of the signs of poor emotional control is frequent quarrels and fights over the simplest things like watching TV and doing the dishes.
This is especially the case if the man feels that being addressed as the head of the family means he has to be in control of every decision that is made in the family.Nobody can have that kind of control over another human being especially your wife without leading to serious emotional friction.
Such an attitude would lead to lack of exchange of ideas and thoughts when decisions are made.Unfortunately this kind of attitude can be compounded by the abuse of cultural and religious precepts. This may lead to women being shut down and any attempt to speak their mind being curtailed in the name of culture and religion.
This will invariably lead to internal frustrations which when not addressed between husband and wife can lead to very serious conflicts.
To deal with poor emotional control and its related problems every relationship should have a communications day ,when questions with regards to motives behind actions are freely asked.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
How to love an imperfect man
If you are in a long term relationship ,you would have noticed that your spouse is not prince charming every day.This is something we see every day through the events we hear on the news or read in the newspapers or online.How can you then love an imperfect man?
The first step towards loving your man despite his imperfections is to remember that much as you may think your are great or wonderful, it is important to remember that we all have our flaws.This is not an excuse for obnoxious behavior from some like emotional and physical abuse.
The kind of imperfections I am taking about include things like being late for appointments,dates or shows .This is annoying but one easy way to deal with this is to be creative with your dates and time.If for example you need to be at a show at 2 O'clock tell your chronically late husband that they time for the show is 1 O'clock.By the time he bungles his way getting at around 1.40 pm ,you will still have 20 mins to make on time instead of being 30 mins late as would have happened in the past.
The other way to deal with imperfections is to fight fair.If a bad behavior annoys you,state it.Do not pretend it did not happen,however do not spend the next 40 minutes telling your husband all the things he had failed to do right since you married him 15 years ago.
You may feel good having told off your husband but he is not going to feel good about you or the fight you have just had.It isn't really fair to bring all the past errors into the moment.Stick to what is not going right this point in time and your husband will more than willing to be apologetic
This will give you a small victory; you can always build on for the future.I wish I could tell you this will end all future misunderstandings; or quarrels ,but it won't.This will only give; you an insight into what will work for both of you in the future.
The final jigsaw in the puzzle of loving your imperfect man is forgiveness.Forgive him his errors so that he can grow into the loving man you married,who can also forgive you in the future.Remember ,what goes around comes around.
If you and your imperfect man are at the point of not making up,read the magic of making up to find the ways to make up.
The first step towards loving your man despite his imperfections is to remember that much as you may think your are great or wonderful, it is important to remember that we all have our flaws.This is not an excuse for obnoxious behavior from some like emotional and physical abuse.
The kind of imperfections I am taking about include things like being late for appointments,dates or shows .This is annoying but one easy way to deal with this is to be creative with your dates and time.If for example you need to be at a show at 2 O'clock tell your chronically late husband that they time for the show is 1 O'clock.By the time he bungles his way getting at around 1.40 pm ,you will still have 20 mins to make on time instead of being 30 mins late as would have happened in the past.
The other way to deal with imperfections is to fight fair.If a bad behavior annoys you,state it.Do not pretend it did not happen,however do not spend the next 40 minutes telling your husband all the things he had failed to do right since you married him 15 years ago.
You may feel good having told off your husband but he is not going to feel good about you or the fight you have just had.It isn't really fair to bring all the past errors into the moment.Stick to what is not going right this point in time and your husband will more than willing to be apologetic
This will give you a small victory; you can always build on for the future.I wish I could tell you this will end all future misunderstandings; or quarrels ,but it won't.This will only give; you an insight into what will work for both of you in the future.
The final jigsaw in the puzzle of loving your imperfect man is forgiveness.Forgive him his errors so that he can grow into the loving man you married,who can also forgive you in the future.Remember ,what goes around comes around.
If you and your imperfect man are at the point of not making up,read the magic of making up to find the ways to make up.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
A Proven Plan To Win Back An Ex
Do you have a proven plan to get your ex back once you've been dumped by an ex that you're still in love with? Thus your main goal is usually to find some way to win back an ex who has broken your heart. What is usually the case though is that most people don't have a clue where to start and they either rush around sending expensive gifts or making a ton of phone calls – all of which only serve to push their exs further away.
Your opening move to win back an ex, should be no move.Do not rush to see you ex without having a plan.It is always a good idea to approach the mission of getting your ex back in a calm and relaxed manner. Do nothing that is going to make you appear as desperate and needy because again, your ex will only find it a turn off.
To get yourself in a calm and rational place, you need to take some time out from the heat and drama of the breakup. Too often people don't take this time out and instead just panic and believe they have to win back an ex by going straight in hard from day one.
As you take this time, concentrate on the things that are going to make you feel good about yourself and what you need to keep your spirits up. It may even be helpful to make a list of the things that you enjoy doing.So make sure that you're not spending too much time on your own and that you're instead out with friends and having some fun. Truly this is possibly the last thing you want to do, but you'd be amazed how much of a difference this one step can make to your prospects of getting back with the one you love.
Do not allow yourself to get depressed.For the same reason looking after your body is key. When you take the time to do some regular exercise and eat well, you begin to feel focused, less confused and defeatist about what you're going through. You don't have to join a gym if that's not your thing. You simply need to find what works for you and stick to it. It could be as simple as a regular walk or joining a sports team or simply a regular kick around with the kids. Anything that gets you up on your feet and has the blood pumping.
Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables is also part of the plan. Don't fall into the obvious trap of over indulging where food and drink are concerned. It might make you feel consoled initially but eventually it will ruin any chance you might have to win back an ex. So eat well and drink in moderation.
Connect all of these points and you have the beginnings of proven plan to begin the job to win back an ex.However do not jump to conclusions just because you have a plan,you still have to implement your plans to get your ex back.
Your opening move to win back an ex, should be no move.Do not rush to see you ex without having a plan.It is always a good idea to approach the mission of getting your ex back in a calm and relaxed manner. Do nothing that is going to make you appear as desperate and needy because again, your ex will only find it a turn off.
To get yourself in a calm and rational place, you need to take some time out from the heat and drama of the breakup. Too often people don't take this time out and instead just panic and believe they have to win back an ex by going straight in hard from day one.
As you take this time, concentrate on the things that are going to make you feel good about yourself and what you need to keep your spirits up. It may even be helpful to make a list of the things that you enjoy doing.So make sure that you're not spending too much time on your own and that you're instead out with friends and having some fun. Truly this is possibly the last thing you want to do, but you'd be amazed how much of a difference this one step can make to your prospects of getting back with the one you love.
Do not allow yourself to get depressed.For the same reason looking after your body is key. When you take the time to do some regular exercise and eat well, you begin to feel focused, less confused and defeatist about what you're going through. You don't have to join a gym if that's not your thing. You simply need to find what works for you and stick to it. It could be as simple as a regular walk or joining a sports team or simply a regular kick around with the kids. Anything that gets you up on your feet and has the blood pumping.
Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables is also part of the plan. Don't fall into the obvious trap of over indulging where food and drink are concerned. It might make you feel consoled initially but eventually it will ruin any chance you might have to win back an ex. So eat well and drink in moderation.
Connect all of these points and you have the beginnings of proven plan to begin the job to win back an ex.However do not jump to conclusions just because you have a plan,you still have to implement your plans to get your ex back.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Break Up Help For Those Still In Love With Their Exs
Are still in love with your ex?Sometimes a break up does not quite feel right and you find yourself looking around for break up help? Well now you find yourself without the person you're still in love with you either have to find help to move on or help to win them back.
If you think you should move on then the kind of break up help you're going to need depends largely on how bad the relationship was. If the end it was a major drama that really and seriously took it out of you emotionally, then without a doubt you're going to need plenty of time to recover and get over the relationship.You may even need professional help.
Taking care of yourself is always key after any emotional turmoil, but in this case where you've been tossed around and you still feel that you love your ex, it is even more key. Don't give yourself a hard time for any decisions you made that you now feel in retrospect were wrong decisions. You did the best you could with what you had, so relax and allow yourself to be human.
Make sure that the break up help you need is to look after you and not to look after your ex and what they might be going through. You have left them behind and though you still have strong feelings for them, they are no longer your responsibility.
If you feel you need to talk to a professional to help you put the whole relationship into perspective then you should do this as soon as possible. In a situation where you're still feeling vulnerable and emotional, the sooner you regain your composure and any eroded self-esteem the better.
If the kind of break up help you're looking for is help to get your ex back, then you need to do some of the things outlined above, but then you also have to make sure you're implementing a strategy to bring you full circle so you can make up with your ex.
So follow what's already been outlined: taking care of yourself first and foremost, talk to a professional if you feel you have to and forget about your ex for a few weeks while you recover self-esteem and direction.
After doing all these, you then make contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere new and different. When you meet your ex, calmly and without being overly emotional explain that you still have feelings for them. Explain that you've had time to think and you'd like another chance to make your relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, you don't necessarily have to agree with them, but you need to listen.
You then give them time to think and leave to wait for them to call you. Truth is it could go either way. Using this break up help guarantees nothing. Just know this, you have given it your best shot so there is no need to spend endless hours beating yourself up.
I always believe it is better to take action for something that means a lot to you than to do nothing.
If you think you should move on then the kind of break up help you're going to need depends largely on how bad the relationship was. If the end it was a major drama that really and seriously took it out of you emotionally, then without a doubt you're going to need plenty of time to recover and get over the relationship.You may even need professional help.
Taking care of yourself is always key after any emotional turmoil, but in this case where you've been tossed around and you still feel that you love your ex, it is even more key. Don't give yourself a hard time for any decisions you made that you now feel in retrospect were wrong decisions. You did the best you could with what you had, so relax and allow yourself to be human.
Make sure that the break up help you need is to look after you and not to look after your ex and what they might be going through. You have left them behind and though you still have strong feelings for them, they are no longer your responsibility.
If you feel you need to talk to a professional to help you put the whole relationship into perspective then you should do this as soon as possible. In a situation where you're still feeling vulnerable and emotional, the sooner you regain your composure and any eroded self-esteem the better.
If the kind of break up help you're looking for is help to get your ex back, then you need to do some of the things outlined above, but then you also have to make sure you're implementing a strategy to bring you full circle so you can make up with your ex.
So follow what's already been outlined: taking care of yourself first and foremost, talk to a professional if you feel you have to and forget about your ex for a few weeks while you recover self-esteem and direction.
After doing all these, you then make contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere new and different. When you meet your ex, calmly and without being overly emotional explain that you still have feelings for them. Explain that you've had time to think and you'd like another chance to make your relationship work. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, you don't necessarily have to agree with them, but you need to listen.
You then give them time to think and leave to wait for them to call you. Truth is it could go either way. Using this break up help guarantees nothing. Just know this, you have given it your best shot so there is no need to spend endless hours beating yourself up.
I always believe it is better to take action for something that means a lot to you than to do nothing.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
How To Win Your Love Back And make things better.
Making things better will be on your mind if you want to win your love back and improve your relationship especially after a break up.If you're looking around wondering how to win your love back, then you've no doubt found yourself in a situation where you're still in love with your ex, but your ex has walked out of the relationship.
Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days or a few weeks after a breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out. click on this.to learn more ways to sort yourself out.
Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means asking the hard questions to your self to learn why the break up occurred.It also means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do. Contacting your ex makes you very soon after a break up makes you loo desperate and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone. Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them. Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.
Instead, work at sorting yourself out. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own. It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them. This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.
Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.
As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.Also ask yourself if your friends played a negative or positive role in your relationship with your ex.
It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.
Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.The first step towards making up for your mistake is to admit your error to your ex.
Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.The good things about taking these steps is that it help you and your lover make things better.
For even more tips on making things better click on this.
Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days or a few weeks after a breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out. click on this.to learn more ways to sort yourself out.
Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means asking the hard questions to your self to learn why the break up occurred.It also means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do. Contacting your ex makes you very soon after a break up makes you loo desperate and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone. Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them. Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.
Instead, work at sorting yourself out. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own. It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them. This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.
Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.
As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.Also ask yourself if your friends played a negative or positive role in your relationship with your ex.
It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.
Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.The first step towards making up for your mistake is to admit your error to your ex.
Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.The good things about taking these steps is that it help you and your lover make things better.
For even more tips on making things better click on this.
Friday, January 7, 2011
AreYou Wondering What to do to Get Your Ex Back
Having the one you truly love walk out on you is no fun .In fact it can be painful.Often your initial thought is “how do I get my ex back?” Truth is most people don't have any idea what to do to get an ex back and they find themselves doing what won't work and what will only push their exs further away or into another lover. Well today you can find the answers to your question, “how do I get my ex back?” without making all the same old mistakes that you had made in the past.
Well first off running around town trying to see your ex and 'accidentally' bumping into them wherever you know they will be hanging out, will usually not work.It only gets your ex more irritated. So if that's what you're doing as you wonder “how do I get my ex back?” then it's time to change that now.
If the breakup has been a particularly rough one, then you're going to need to give both yourself and your ex some time to get over that before you even attempt to make a real move to make up with them and win them back.This is like the grief period following a profound loss, when there is usually a desire to be left alone
Take yourself out of that breakup drama by distracting yourself and occupying yourself with other things. This might sound like you're actually avoiding the issue of the breakup, but you cannot make sound and rational decisions if you're still emotionally red raw from what was said or done by you or your ex in the heat of the moment.
You could take a class, take a trip or get fit! Join your local gym if you cannot exercise by yourself. Anything that is going to take you out of just sitting home and fixating on your ex. Truthfully, doing the latter is a surefire way to make the wrong decisions and lose your ex for good.
As you're taking some time out from your ex, it is a good idea to think about what went wrong and what role you played in the break down of the relationship.Please don't blame yourself for everything that went wrong or consider your self a loser.Nobody is perfect.It is not important to attribute blame, but instead it would be very useful to learn what you need to do to make sure that you know the answer to your question “how do I get my ex back?” or "how do you get your ex back?" Because as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, if you sincerely want to find a way back with your ex, then you're going to have to come up with a reason for your ex to take you back and that means having a plan to change any 'bad' behavior that you exhibited to help cause the breakup.
It really is that simple, give yourself some time to sort out your thoughts, figure out your role in the breakup and then approach your ex.Unless you know where you are,It is difficult to know where you are going.Take time to better understand yourself.
Well first off running around town trying to see your ex and 'accidentally' bumping into them wherever you know they will be hanging out, will usually not work.It only gets your ex more irritated. So if that's what you're doing as you wonder “how do I get my ex back?” then it's time to change that now.
If the breakup has been a particularly rough one, then you're going to need to give both yourself and your ex some time to get over that before you even attempt to make a real move to make up with them and win them back.This is like the grief period following a profound loss, when there is usually a desire to be left alone
Take yourself out of that breakup drama by distracting yourself and occupying yourself with other things. This might sound like you're actually avoiding the issue of the breakup, but you cannot make sound and rational decisions if you're still emotionally red raw from what was said or done by you or your ex in the heat of the moment.
You could take a class, take a trip or get fit! Join your local gym if you cannot exercise by yourself. Anything that is going to take you out of just sitting home and fixating on your ex. Truthfully, doing the latter is a surefire way to make the wrong decisions and lose your ex for good.
As you're taking some time out from your ex, it is a good idea to think about what went wrong and what role you played in the break down of the relationship.Please don't blame yourself for everything that went wrong or consider your self a loser.Nobody is perfect.It is not important to attribute blame, but instead it would be very useful to learn what you need to do to make sure that you know the answer to your question “how do I get my ex back?” or "how do you get your ex back?" Because as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, if you sincerely want to find a way back with your ex, then you're going to have to come up with a reason for your ex to take you back and that means having a plan to change any 'bad' behavior that you exhibited to help cause the breakup.
It really is that simple, give yourself some time to sort out your thoughts, figure out your role in the breakup and then approach your ex.Unless you know where you are,It is difficult to know where you are going.Take time to better understand yourself.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
location-a reason relationships end
Location can be a reason why some relationships end.This is because no many people find it difficult to keep the flame of love glowing across the Atlantic ocean.This is just an example of a long distance relationship.It doesn't have to be across the Atlantic ocean to have for location to be a factor.
Two lovers could be in the same city and be seperated by a prison wall.It is difficult to keep in touch when one may be behind bars with limited access to visitors and the other person is outside struggling to make ends meet or dealing with the daily temptations that comes with freedom.Out of sight is out of mind ,unless you find ways to keep each other emotionally connected.
If you lived together with your spouse you could always find things to do together like go to the movies,go to the restaurants or even go to theme parks with family which can help keep you emotionally connected,when you live in different parts of the country,everything becomes more challenging.You are limited to keeping in touch through phone calls ,texting or internet connections.Though these may help ,they are no substitutes for holding hands together and sharing your feelings.
I know of a friend who loved his girlfriend dearly before he traveled outside the country.Initially he called every day on the phone ,then it became weekly ,then monthly ,then when ever possible.Once I found out my friend called his beloved only 'when ever possible', I knew their relationship was in trouble.Not long after wards they broke up.
If you have a really good relationship and one of you has to relocate on account of job demands ,I am sure you will not like to end up like my friend.Those ,who have been able to avoid the location pitfall in relationships tell me that what they did was keep in touch regularly by any means available,including phone calls and text messages.They also sent each other surprise gifts and took advantage of every holiday or break at work to visit each other.
They said it was a lot of hard work but in the end it made their relationship more romantic .How did they do it? Instead of allowing location to lead to the end of their relationship,they used their different locations to make things more unpredictable and exciting,this put the spice back in their love lives.
For more ways to keep your relationship more romantic click on Questions to help couples live better where you will find more romantic ideas.
Two lovers could be in the same city and be seperated by a prison wall.It is difficult to keep in touch when one may be behind bars with limited access to visitors and the other person is outside struggling to make ends meet or dealing with the daily temptations that comes with freedom.Out of sight is out of mind ,unless you find ways to keep each other emotionally connected.
If you lived together with your spouse you could always find things to do together like go to the movies,go to the restaurants or even go to theme parks with family which can help keep you emotionally connected,when you live in different parts of the country,everything becomes more challenging.You are limited to keeping in touch through phone calls ,texting or internet connections.Though these may help ,they are no substitutes for holding hands together and sharing your feelings.
I know of a friend who loved his girlfriend dearly before he traveled outside the country.Initially he called every day on the phone ,then it became weekly ,then monthly ,then when ever possible.Once I found out my friend called his beloved only 'when ever possible', I knew their relationship was in trouble.Not long after wards they broke up.
If you have a really good relationship and one of you has to relocate on account of job demands ,I am sure you will not like to end up like my friend.Those ,who have been able to avoid the location pitfall in relationships tell me that what they did was keep in touch regularly by any means available,including phone calls and text messages.They also sent each other surprise gifts and took advantage of every holiday or break at work to visit each other.
They said it was a lot of hard work but in the end it made their relationship more romantic .How did they do it? Instead of allowing location to lead to the end of their relationship,they used their different locations to make things more unpredictable and exciting,this put the spice back in their love lives.
For more ways to keep your relationship more romantic click on Questions to help couples live better where you will find more romantic ideas.
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