If you have been in a relationship then you know that controlling your emotions is an important aspect of living in the moment.Do you live in the moment or in the future?Do you like to do things right away or later?I had a friend who liked to do everything later.On his wedding day,he got so backed up on the things he had postponed doing,that he ended up getting to his wedding in the middle of his own mass.
His wife was so angry and disappointed by his behavior that everybody predicted that their marriage would not last even 6months.Well ,surprise,surprise .....16 years later,they are still best of friends and still married.So how did Rita ,the bride in this story do it?
I asked her and she said she did it by using the following 5 steps to control her emotions;
1, Move on.
Do not stay stuck to past or use all energy holding unto the past.On her wedding day ,she decided to move past the late arrival and concentrate on enjoying the moment.She did not even ask Jimmy her husband ,why he came late.
2, Forgive
Each her feelings or emotions were hurt,she let him know without becoming judgmental . She went a step further and forgive him ,without taking every future opportunity of his mistakes to remind him of his errors.
3 Praying
They always found a way to pray together as a family,even on the days they were really mad at each other. They said it helped to remind them of their mortality and the need to be truthful to each other ,especially their to treat each other with dignity.
4 Work as Team
They always found a way to remind each other of their anniversaries without trying to see if one person would forget.She saw herself as a team with her husband and made him come to appreciate more that in some situations they had put their differences aside and work as a team.
5 Find time to play as a family.
It does not have to be fancy,it can be something as simple as going to the city park with the whole
family on Sundays.You can bring water, fruits and vegetables as something to snack for the whole family while everybody ,relaxes and plays.
Rita said doing these steps as frequently as she could ,eventually led them to become even better friends then they anticipated. She said it helped her to make her relationship fun.
If your need additional tips on how to make your marriage or relationship emotionally more balanced and fun click here
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tips on How To Better Manage Your Emotions For More Enjoyable Relationships
by John Adams
Without knowing it ,we end up defining our relationships by how we feel.Yet in a given day we can go through a range of emotions from happiness to sadness.from anger to joy.How can we better manage our emotions so that our relationships will be more enjoyable?
Our emotions or feelings help us to relate to ourselves and to others.This is why any change in our emotional well being can have a very serious impact in our relationships.It can very easily lead to fights and physical abuse.This is why we need to find and learn new ways to manage our emotions.
Just because your emotions feel right does not mean you have a right to scream at others.Be honest with your feelings but make sure you also tell your lover or friend how he or she makes you feel.Most of us cannot read minds.We all need both positive and negative feedback.
People are surprised when they have emotional problems in their relationships.This is because most people think that because they have married someone they deeply love,everything would be wonderful.This is a false belief.Every relationship has its beautiful moments and challenging moments.This is why it is important to make your expectations realistic.We have to learn to be patient with ourselves and others.
Magical thoughts will not suddenly make our relationships great.What will help us is finding our emotional balance.We can only maintain our emotional balance by making use of some important factors.Treat your lover or friend with respect.Respect their humanity.Remember that we do not even treat ourselves fairly,so we should not too shocked to discover that we get treated unfairly.Go with the flow.
If you treat your wife or husband with respect .you would be surprised how quickly things can warm in your relationship.If you give niceness you will get niceness back.This is not the time to tell your loved one that their feelings are wrong.Believe nobody likes to hear that and no matter correct you think you are,do not do that.Treat every feeling as significant and your relationships will begin to get better.
The important emotional balance approach is to understand the types of events that lead to emotional break downs and take steps to overcome them. Most disruptions in emotion usually start with a rise in emotional tension. Once this tension has been recognized, you need to deflect this tension build up through better communication. Sometimes this may entail changing the subject or simply keeping quiet. These steps can help you mend your marriage or relationship
One of the best ways to use emotional balance to help your relationship is to lose fights. By 'fight', I mean a quarrel between two lovers. Let your lover win that fight. Relationships are not the same as mathematics. Sometimes you win by losing. You may be surprised how simply saying "you are right "may help reduce tension and restore the emotional balance in your relationships.
Whatever tip you eventually decide to use to manage your emotions ,remember that even your best efforts and intentions may lead to failure at the beginning. Do not be discouraged because if you do not give up, you will eventually find yourself enjoying your relationship even more.
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