Friday, December 20, 2013

Making your dream of happiness true in your marriage

Making your dream of happiness true in your marriage is possible if you are prepared to pass through your refiner's fire.You have to remember that marriage is that institution through which your spouse will remind you of your failed promises when you begin to make new ones.

This can be painful, if you get this type of response each time you want to share your plans, dreams and aspirations with your spouse. However, you have to remember that nothing happens in a vacuum. If you want to be honest with yourself, you have to remember that people can be skeptical when you share your plans, if you have failed to make your past dreams and aspirations, a reality.

Instead of getting mad at those who love you, incubate your dreams. This means that before you start feeling hurt, use the fire of criticism, to burn the impurities in your inadequacies, to transform your iron into steel.you by  This is the only way to make your dream of happiness true in your marriage.

How can love conquer everything when we cannot even have honest conversations among ourselves?Why should a man get mad if his wife reminds him that getting to the next level requires action? We all want to be supported but unless we are prepared to incubate our plans first, we shall continue to run into problems.

Remember, only God loves your effort, every other person judges by your results. Explanations, explain nothing.We all have broken spirits that needs mending. With an honest and loving spouse, we can begin again and again, everyday.

Love honestly

Love without remorse

Love truthfully

Love with compassion

Remember that love can be painful.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

A married man is a fool

A married man is a fool who is only one mistake from being told what his wife really thinks of him. Everything is his fault. If the car breaks down, it is his fault. He didn't service on time or he made a mistake while getting the car serviced.

On the other hand, he should have bought a new car, if he was not such a foolish husband.After all , all the other good husbands, have already bought new cars for their wives.Instead, a fool like you continues to promise and fail. Tomorrow.Tomorrow.

Unfortunately. everyday is a new tomorrow and you continue to disgrace yourself and your family. You are late for everything. You are selfish, stupid, idiotic, toxic, proud, ignorant,stupid again, foolish again and poisonous.

Your family is foolish so it makes sense that you grew up foolish because your mum never trained you well. This is why you ended up a fool. A lazy man who offers nothing but his ignorance to his wife and family. may your children never become like you.

You are always wrong though you never admit it, Unlike other good men, you never help out at home. You never participate in other social activities, you selfishly only always think of yourself. You just sit there while I do everything for the family. You are nothing but a married fool.

May your children, never become like you. My your daughters marry better husbands. May your sons become better husbands.The only thing you bring to your family is pain and suffering. You are incompetent and the only way to describe is that everything about you is bad.

Is there anything positive about you? No. Marrying you was a mistake. The biggest mistake of my life!! Stop acting as if you are worth anything because you are nothing, zero, nada!!! 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

It takes two to play the game

A relationship can be like a game of ping-pong or table tennis. It takes two to play the game. The more committed the two players are to the game the better it becomes. Commitment in the game will require regular effort and practice. The game does not become better simply because one likes the game a lot.


If one person talks and gets no feed back. The person feels bad and feels unappreciated. That person is less likely to begin a conversation next time. This is one of the reasons why it is important that men listen to their wives and talk with them on a regular basis. This way feelings will be known and areas of concern or unhappiness can be found out early.

Finding out problem areas early in relationship is like discovering each person's weaknesses in a game. this gives each player areas to work on. Improvement will require practice. This usually costs time and money. To get better both players simply have to put in the time to make their relationships better. It takes two to play the game better.

If only one person is interested in making the game better or making the relationship better, prospects for success becomes reduced. This is because after a while one person will find it difficult to continue to practice with a player who does not like working on his or her game. Similarly, after a while a friend or a partner will get tired of talking to someone who does not listen or who claims to listen but continues to behave the same way over and over again.

It really takes two to play the game better.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Infidelity:A reason why some mess up or leave their families


I do not know the full psychological explanation for infidelity,but  it is almost as if  men have a need to prove in their middle age they are still sexy by showing that pretty young girls still find them appealing.As a result of this attraction to much younger girls,older men abandon their wives with whom they have raised their kids for these young beauties.It is almost like a trophy to male virility.It is a way of saying "I still have it after all these years".

By pretty young girls, I mean girls above 18 years of age being sought after by men in their forties(40s) and fifties(50s). Whatever happened to good win getting better with time. Since infidelity is related to the sexual drive, it is a passion that is difficult for most people to overcome. This is why it is good to avoid occasions of temptation. Find fun things to do with your wife and leave other women alone. Older men need to remember that such girls are simply there for the money.

The sad part is that in addition to using the excuse of tapping into the fountain of youth by marrying such girls,some  men go as far as making disparaging remarks about their wives as being too old and  not quite as attractive as before.This their way of justifying  their infidelity and then conveniently forgetting  that every body is getting older.They see signs of old age in their wives and generously over look their bald heads and sagging bellies.

Men who think like this,are probably not deserving of their wives to start with and only use age as an excuse for finally leaving their families.Their underlying problem is their inability to manage their own mid-life crisis and the reality of their own mortality.One of the ways they try to deal with such fears and insecurities is to declare themselves young at heart ,with marriage to younger girls as proof that they are young since young people still find them attractive.

This type of a situation is very challenging for any couple that wants to make their relationship better. However, most of this type of problem took years to build up, so it will not simply go away . If both parties are still interested in  making their relationships better, then first step will be for husband and wife to have an  honest conversation about where they are in their relationship and what they can do to make things better.

Avoiding the blame game would help a lot.It is also important to remember that talking and sharing is the key to better relationships .



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

How attitude affects your marriage

By Chey Revell


How attitude affects your marriage should not be overlooked.This attitude within a marriage shows a fundamental flaw inside your concept or notion of what a marriage is supposed to be. After you get married, the quite act of performing so meant that you simply gave up any concept to 'your rights'.This has to be replaced with a new concept of 'our rights'.

Marriage is actually a unity of two people today and all that they may be. Provided that you hold selfishly to 'your rights' you can not attain the accurate objective of a marriage-unity.

Imagine if both parties within a marriage concentrate on uplifting and promoting the marriage in place of themselves. Most of the complications in such a marriage would disappear. I mean let's be frank, the key result in of all of our arguments is pride and selfishness.

Operate towards seeing your connection as a single complete as opposed to two separate parts. Else, your connection is not a marriage it's a partnership, and you do not possess a mate you might have a roommate.

IMMATURE ATTITUDE - "If this does not work out, we can just get a divorce." marriage is not a lottery pick.This suggests that there is certainly no commitment, no goal to the marriage other than one's personal gratification. A marriage has to be more than other relationships. It requires a level of commitment that you're unwilling to offer to any other human on this planet.

A marriage requirements a burning desire to work through any difficulty, overcome any obstacle, and defeat any trial. If you're hoping that your marriage will be eternal bliss, you're sadly mistaken. All marriages have struggles, and it really is the struggles that bind us closer with each other, propel us beyond our own selves, forces us to reevaluate our priorities, and focuses us on the correct riches in life.

Without these struggles that you are only a two dimensional character with no depth and small understanding of what a deep connection seriously is.Learning to stick things out is easier said than done. Difficulties are bound to come. You are going to undoubtedly get hurt sooner or later or yet another...but when you've got not the strength to overcome it, you'll under no circumstances experience the remarkable joy that comes from a deep, lasting connection.

Look, you might usually be hurt essentially the most by persons which you appreciate by far the most. Which is just the way it's. Should you adore the particular person you're married to, then he or she will undoubtedly hurt you at some point. Stick it out. No matter whether the storms in order that you could possibly locate the joy and happiness you claim you seek.

Those who bounce from marriage to marriage in no way genuinely recognize how attitude affects relationship and marriage. They use divorce as an escape because they can't deal with difficulties.The sad thing is that you move from divorce to divorce the difficulties will follow you unless you make some changes.




About the Author:


Saturday, May 19, 2012

How do you deal with the difficulties of infidelity in marriage

 


 
Here is an article by Lou E Gardiner on the difficulties of infidelity and marriage.I think you will find it as interesting as I did.Infidelity is one of the the most difficult issues that anyone may have to endure. After you have been with somebody for years and then have granted every aspect of your life, and after they commit infidelity, nothing is more painful.  You can restore the confidence within your relationship and get that trust factor back by working one day at a time.. This can be a long road, and you will want to focus on the relationship you once had - and can have again, and hope that it will probably return to just the same as it once was.

You're probably asking your partner information on what happened and exactly what may have happened during the affair, and if so it is totally natural and it is part of the recovery process. The person you love could be getting upset that you are asking for the smallest of details, but explain to them that it truly is part of healing, and that you need to understand these elements so that you can carry on.

You may be afraid to talk to friends or family regarding this because you are embarrassed or just don't want anybody to be aware that you are having issues - this is certainly okay, and one of the reasons this website has been created. It is my hope that you'll be able to find answers to your questions and hopefully your marriage is not so far gone that you are on the course of talking divorce, because you have the ability to make it through your relationship problems.

At some point, at the start of your relationship you felt that you could hardly do without your spouse - remember whenever you were first dating and how that you were constantly in love with that person? You will need to somehow get that fresh feeling back.

Right now, you may be facing the single most painful and most critical crossroads at any point, therefore you will have to be very careful in what you do and say. Everything that happens today will affect your marriage tomorrow.

Making threats about leaving your spouse could create more problems. If you are truly desiring to try to work things out, then don't try to scare them back into the relationship.

Infidelity in marriage, emotional infidelity or a cheating spouse. It doesn't matter what you call it, it leads to a  a large impact on the innocent victim in the partnership. Online counseling can be obtained for anybody who needs it, and it is recommended from key wedding counselors.




About the Author:


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Make Lemonade Out of the Lemons in Your Marriage.

Marriage is like a bed of roses, it is beautiful but it has ts thorns.You will be wise to remember that when you want to make your bed in your marriage.If you have ever tried to pick up a rose you will be cut by its thorns if you are not  careful.

Hopefully this will help you think of ways of making lemonade out of  'lemon'  marriage situations.These situations may arise out of anger, when you get called a fool or an idiot.Things could be easily as bad  during bad jokes.

Ten years ago when I went  to visit my and his friend and his wife , a  marriage lemon moment occurred. My friend despite his better judgement and his love for his wife, called  his wife a cow.There was  more to come.He  even went as far as calling all women cows.To my surprise ,Rubena my friend's wife,who is usually very outspoken said nothing.

After a few minutes ,my friend ,Johnson asked Rubena for directions to their new  church.Rubena answered  "moo". More questions and attempts at conversation were met with more "moos".I could see Johnson  becoming embarrassed.Needless to say ,he  got massage.He quickly apologized to his wife and told her all women were not cows.He called his wife,his princess.

You can see that Rubena handled the situation very well.She turned a lemon into a lemonade with.out arguing or shouting.She simply went with the flow and turned the table on her husband.She played the cow and Johnson didn't like it.

Anyone can do this.You can make lemonade out of  'lemon' situations in your marriage.If you haven't had lemon situations in your marriage,you have not been married long enough.

Make your relationships better and have a happy married life.